Alice dropped the baby this morning

Alice dropped the baby this morning. It was completely an accident--I mean, who drops a baby on purpose? She was wearing pants with cuffs that rise perfectly when she's wearing heels but without heels they're too long, and she was coming down the stairs without heels and she stumbled and dropped the baby on the landing.

She actually fell before the baby did, and by the time she actually dropped the baby the baby only fell about a foot. I was halfway to work and she called me frantically--"I dropped the baby!"--and the baby was screaming in the background and I turned the car around and made it back home in less than ten minutes.

By the time I got home the baby had stopped screaming. I couldn't feel any knots, see any bruises or red marks, and I moved all her limbs and got no complaints. Still, it was the first time we'd ever dropped the baby so we took her to the doctor. She was fine.

I told Alice in the car on the way back from the doctor, "you knew it would happen sooner or later. The baby had to get hurt sooner or later. Somebody had to drop her sooner or later. Every baby gets dropped at some point."

"I know," she sighed. "I just assumed you'd be the one to drop her."

To be honest, I had as well.

-Andy